Let us be lovers, We'll marry our fortunes together...

{Now Playing: Tracks in the Snow by The Civil Wars}

I have loved you with an everlasting love...
Jeremiah 31:3a

Snowflakes float blissfully outside of my window. Isn’t it beautiful, the peace that snow carries just on the outside of glass windows, surrounded by family and comforts (mine being a V-Day themed cup full of piping hot English Breakfast, a knitting project in progress with the most luxurious bulky yarn imaginable, My Last Day Without You to watch later on, and reruns with Mom).

Last Thursday, whilst meandering through Barnes & Noble during my lunch hour, I discovered a book called The Dress Shop of Dreams by Menna Van Praag. There’s nothing better than a magical, lighthearted romance to read with tea, and a blanket on the day of love (and let me tell you, I’m on chapter 4 and it is lovely!). On the bus ride home, I was struck by this quote: “When a woman needs courage, for example, life might throw a few things at her to draw it out. When a woman needs to love herself, she might be lonely while life leaves her without external hearts to hide in.” It’s not the loneliness that resonates with me, after all, the absence of a relationship does not mean loneliness because if we really think about it, we’re surrounded by love everyday. But what resonated with me is the beauty that God will, many times, leave you without the thing you believe tethers you to the earth. The distraction that, one, keeps you from your most important romance with Him, and two, your next great romance with yourself.

It hurts sometimes to think of having to part with the things that provide an ephemeral hiding place from fully accepting myself. I’ve relied on these things for so long, and the thought of just being in a room with my own breath sounding in the silence, and the still and jarring Words of Jesus scares me a little. But I’m also a bit relieved that I have the wonderful opportunity with every year, to finally discover more about myself, and to  allow the Lord to secure me so that I no longer rely so heavily on the distractions. I think everyone dreams of being loved by someone who can see them with unflorished eyes, and love them, and now I’m thinking instead of wishing that somoene else might come in and help you see yourself in a new way, it’s up to us to see what’s delightful about us before anyone else will see it. There’s a very thin line between standing strong, and falling prey to the ebbs and flows of another’s moods and opinions of you.

That’s my hope for you today. That you would take a step back and think of what makes you absolutely awesome. And if you don’t feel it, that’s okay...that’s just the start. Love on yourself today. Treat yourself to flowers, or you-time, or a dinner, or something else that makes you happy. Affirm yourself with God’s Word, and allow yourself to start believing that you are royalty, you are brave, you can accomplish anything through Him, and most importantly you are loved. 

Let this love that’s only found in Him radiate through your heart onto someone else, and pass the beauty of self love around. 

And for a little romantic break:

tabi no tame

State of the Address: Homage to Aging

"I'm feeling twenty-niiiiiine..." I'd croon on the way to work...once Taylor Swift turns twenty-nine that is. 

It's funny that when you're fifteen, eying your future like a statuesque beauty you hope to emulate one day, turning twenty one seems like the very best thing to happen to you since midnight walks under the stars with your true love. Once I turned 25, I watched desires shift to a ride on a time machine, doing everything you can to appear younger. It seems as if more women celebrate each birthday after quarter life with the shrug worthy undertone of discontent. One of my very best friends turned thirty this year, and instead of welcoming a new decade with excitement, she found herself weighed down with thoughts of all she had yet to accomplish, or what society says must occur before thirty. Telling a group of younger women my age resulted in a monotoned "Wow", as if I had revealed harrowing news about my future. Admittedly, I deal with many of the same concerns, my knees threatening to buckle beneath the weight of what I haven't achieved yet. 

Magazines showcase women over thirty with the subheading, "Why Thirty is the new Twenty". My pondering today: Why does Thirty have to be the new Twenty?

Our culture seems a well coiffed 'frenemy' that will ply you with gold embellished compliments and tips whilst pitying you behind your back. I've decided to shuck off the cultural 'frenemy' who reminds me tirelessly that I'm almost thirty and should have accomplished A, B, or C, or that I'm getting too old to A, B, or C, or that I've missed out on A, B, or C. God has made all of our journeys vast; filled with marvelous adventures and even better hopes than any of us have minds to conceive. Perhaps society has formed double negatives about aging, but I seek to defiantly prove them wrong.

My Twenty-Ninth year will be spent, God-Willing, cultivating a heart of thanksgiving to the Lord for being alive to even form my mouth to complain about new lines surfacing on my face. Learning to be content in my own skin and in who He has created me to be. Of course, there will be moments of discouragement,  but I'd like to age gracefully, shunning all limitations that this world, and magazines, and surgeons knives would like us to believe about ourselves. Every year comes a milky way galaxy's worth of blessings, romance for passion, strength to be faithful, challenges for wisdom, and thrilling new people to help us understand each other better. Thirty (or any other age) is the commencement of an all new adventure that you haven't experienced before. It comes with so many new events that there's no need to hope it's like being any other age than what it is. Maybe you'll experience motherhood for the first time, or start a new life with your love, or decide to backpack the Appalachian trail, or become the CEO of your own business, or are promoted in your job, or in my case, snatch the bandaid off and finally finish my novel/screenplay.

To all of you lovelies experiencing a transition regardless of your age, let the world believe what it wants, but defy them by making the impossible possible through God. 

The perks about getting older: More confidence because you know yourself, Less patience for Mean Girl mind games, Grace, Elegance and Strength because you've seen more of the world.

tabi no tame

for the journey.