|ND Tunes | Better Now by The Vespers|
QUERENCIA | Spanish. A place from which one's strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.
I'm so excited, and do you know why? Two weeks ago I was offered a position in the Japanese bank that I've been temping at for almost two years. Yesterday, I received the first fruits of my labor that had me thanking God as I walked through Grand Central, Justin Timberlake's Take Back The Night blaring through my headphones.
Whilst uploading this brand spankin' new layout, I caught a glimpse of my Google Profile. It hasn't been updated since I started at twenty four years old. Seeing your 'five years ago' self is always sentimental, a bit humorous with my bow headband and curved bob. I had just graduated college, and had my sights set on a small town in Wales, and taking the publishing world by storm with words that had been whirring through my mind like the wind in March where Winter's trying it's hardest to stay relevant. I tinkered with online presences back then, finding at times that I was open enough to be myself, and other times looking for a spoon-fed way to become famous off of my mental meanderings about God and dreams and books.
Now I realize, I just wanted a home outside of my parent's house, a querencia, where I felt free to feel out of control on my crazy days, and confident on my best. Where I felt validated.
I'm my own cabinet of curiosities filled with new books, and an iPod full of music worlds apart. My heart still steeps in London, and I think of storytelling more than the one man who might walk in and change my life. I value love above all else, and seek after a romantic lifestyle filled with light flares and cinematic overtures. I sing, and I also keep my voice hidden a lot. I can be cheesy, and classic and old fashioned, and I've never been more confident about the quirky bits of myself than I am right now. And it is with all this in mind that I change the course of these letters in time for Spring.
I love books, and I'll continue to write love letters to my latest great read because I can't help it! But I'll include it with excerpts of short stories I've written, to get my confidence up enough to send work out into the world; Ecstatic moments to make you smile about life; Dabbles in Knitting and Cooking and whatever other splendid thing I try out.
I love Jesus, and although I've gone through the growing pains that come with spiritual maturity, I want to talk to you about Him. The butterflies I feel in my stomach when I read Hosea 2, and realize that God isn't put off when I think I'm fine on my own--that only makes His chase fiercer; His love for you that much more powerful.
In his book, Show Your Work, Austin Kleon encourages us to document our lives, our loves, the things that inspire you to wake up every morning and make the best of what you've been given. I'd like to finish this journey I started when I was twenty-four, and I invite you to take the ride with me, Blue.
Hugs and love,